The Roundtable That Really Matters

I have a confession: I love nothing more than hearing about people’s lives.

That’s why I’ve been overjoyed to have been asked to attend some roundtables and listening events recently. Some of the subjects were new to me, but there’s something about hearing people talk passionately about their subject that makes me want to join in and do more.

I’ve seen it first-hand with Pausitivity, too. Every time I share my menopause story and hear other women’s experiences, I leave with a renewed sense of purpose. (A visit to the Liagre workshop in northern France even left me itching to try my hand at glassmaking after listening to their team.)

That’s the power of real-life experience – it draws you in, makes you see the world differently and leaves you wanting to act.

But – and you knew there was a but coming – roundtables and listening events are not the whole picture.

Most people will never sit in a workshop or be invited to a formal session. They’re not on steering committees nor have nice laminated badges telling you why their experience matters. They’re just… people.

And the best way to get to know them isn’t a roundtable.

It’s a round of drinks.

With a barmaid for a mam and a nephew who owns a pub (the Brandling Villa in Newcastle, if you want a good burger and pint), bars have aways been a part of my life.

But it’s not just about the drink. Our pubs and bars are community hubs, where you’ll find real life and real experiences going on every day.

It’s at the pub you’ll hear the couple quietly panicking about their rent going up again; the pensioner trying to stretch her money through the week, and the young man wondering if he’ll ever afford to move out of his parents’ house.

You hear stories of hardship, of people feeling overlooked or unheard – the kinds of experiences that never make it into a report, but matter deeply in real life.

When we first went into our local – Cobbie’s Inn in Tayport – we were hit by a wall of sound, the kind that only happens in a roomful of people catching up. It was a little daunting, if I’m honest. Okay, it was a lot daunting. But within that noise we’ve found a community that has opened its arms and welcomed us in.

Yes, we’re subject to the bad jokes, the teasing and the football rivalry.

But also the kindness that saw a whip-round for a taxi when a teenager was stranded, the concern when someone is ill or down on their luck, and the quiet supportive chats to youngsters starting out.

It’s here you hear the truth of how politics plays out – not in a branded tote bag workshop, good as they are, but in the spaces where people unwind, complain, laugh and share what’s actually happening.

And that’s because real life doesn’t come in briefing papers. It comes in relaxed conversations about buses, jobs and GP appointments.

I sometimes wish more of our leaders would cut out the middle layer. Stop farming “the public” out to pre-approved focus groups and just show up where people are. Be human. Listen. Learn.

Then maybe – just maybe – they’ll remember what all of this is supposed to be for.